I’ve come to realize that the most destructive thing about worry is keeping it bottled inside your head. Where is can continue to swirl around. Like laundry that’s been in the washing machine too long and is beginning to sour.
It’s much better to get it out of your head and into reality
by some means. Maybe that means vocalizing it and telling a friend. Or writing
it down. Some way of putting it into words and removing it from abstract
thought.
Because, once it’s out of your head you can better examine it. You can look at it from all angles. It’s no longer this amorphous thing that consumes you. You can begin to attack it.
So, that was a really long way to say I want to talk about
what’s worrying me about the coming semester.
Health
I’m worried that all the progress I’ve made this summer will
slip away. I’ve lost weight/gotten healthy before but for some reason or other
I’ve always gotten fat again. I’m afraid it will happen again this year.
I’m worried I won’t be able to sustain the healthy eating habits
I’ve put in place this summer. That I’ll get lazy and fall into eating junk
food, telling myself I’ll get back to eating healthy but never actually doing it.
I’m worried I’ll stop going to the gym. I’ll lose momentum. I’ll get busy with classes. I’ll make up excuses and tell myself I’ll go tomorrow. Which will become the next day/week/month.
Relationships
I’m worried that I’ll get depressed and pull away from my
friends. I’ll waste time stuck in my head and not spend as much time with them
as I want to.
I’m worried that we will get bogged down by classes and commitments
and not hang out with each other. That we won’t explore DC and do all the
things that we always say we want to do.
I’m worried that I’ll get overwhelmed and stop calling my parents and siblings regularly. That I’ll begin to lose the connection that I’ve been working so hard to build up.
Classes
I’m worried that I won’t go to my professors’ office hours
like I keep telling myself I will. That I’ll psych myself out and chicken out
of it. That I’ll never establish any strong relationships/mentorships with my professors.
I’m worried that I’ll give in to procrastination. I’ll wait until the last minute to complete assignments and get stressed about it. I won’t give my it all, I’ll half-ass my homework and projects and I’ll end up not really learning anything or getting anything out of the courses I’m taking.
Jobs/Extracurriculars
I’m worried that I’ll overcommit myself. I want to do well
in all of the positions I’m in and I’m worried about spreading myself too thin.
I’m a leader in a couple of clubs on campus and I have some ideas I’m really excited about. But, I’m worried that I won’t be able to execute them well. All my ideas will fall through. I won’t be the kind of leader I want to be. I’m also worried that I may take on too much as a leader and not leave room for other members to grow and develop leadership skills.
This Blog
Finally, I’m worried that with everything else on my plate I’ll
stop blogging. I’ll give up. I’ll stop being dedicated to monthly projects. I’ll
stop writing articles. I’ll stop doing fun things in my free time just because
they’re interesting to me.
In short, I’m worried about a lot of things. But, I think it
all boils down to this: I’m worried I’ll disappoint myself.
Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. If you can relate and
you’re also worried about the upcoming year, you should leave a comment. Maybe
we can all help each other by talking about it.