Getting better one day at a time
Progress starts here
November Progress Goal Journaling has become increasingly popular among young adults especially throughout and following the pandemic when the importance of slowing down, reflecting and focusing on mental health was highlighted. I personally have several journals that I write in occasionally but have never kept …
This October, I am going to focus on cultivating an art practice by drawing, painting, sketching, or working on printmaking on a daily basis. Why I chose this objective? Since I was a small child, I’ve had an affinity for all things artistic. I loved …
Five minutes can change your life. Or at least I believe that it can. This new project sets out to prove it. (P.S. If you’re not familiar with this blog or my past projects, you can find more information here).
I’ve realized that many times, the obstacle to my success is never starting something out of fear or quitting too soon before seeing any real progress. For me, the two go hand in hand.
Sometimes I quit too soon. I wish I could be thinner in a month, and if I can’t reach that extreme, unrealistic (and unhealthy) goal, I second guess myself asking “What’s the point?” Then to cover up my shame over a perceived failure I might binge on a bowl of ice cream, which turns into not just a bowl of ice cream but also some chips and a chocolate bar because I may as well indulge now that I’ve already given in, right?
Other times, I’m so paralyzed by fear, which then manifests as indecision, that I never begin. I wish I could have that dream career, but I’m too afraid to explore what would satisfy my vocational aspirations. I worry that I will never be able to reach my goal, so instead I wander aimlessly to avoid the disappointment of failing to achieve my vision.
I tell myself I don’t have the time, motivation, or perseverance to become who I want to be. So why even bother?
But then I’m left at the same place where I began, which is precisely nowhere.
The only way to get over this fear of disappointment and failure is to confront it. Instead of wandering without direction, I’m going to start aiming at very small goals.
Instead of starting nowhere, I’m going to start with 5. Five minutes a day for one month adds up to 150 minutes or 2 and a half hours. Five minutes for a whole year is 30 hours and 25 minutes.
It doesn’t seem like much, but it’s much better than nothing.
When it’s all written out in the numbers above, I have the temptation to mock this miniscule goal. If I’m only going to aim for something so pitiful as five measly minutes, will it really do any good? Would my time be better spent watching one good 2-hour movie this month than work on a project for five minutes a day. Or why not pack all the 2 hours and thirty minutes into one day rather than spread it out?
But the truth about forming and changing habits and reaching goals is that it’s best to break a goal down into the easiest possible achievable bit. And, daily work that compounds over time is much more effective, long-lasting and impactful than large efforts that burn bright but burn out fast.
In fact, in the book Atomic Habits, James Clear advises using the 2-minute rule. You can read more about it in his article on how to stop procrastinating, but essentially he advises that any new habit should take less than two minutes to accomplish. If you want to start running, start by tying your shoes. If you want to read a book, start by reading one page.
As he puts it: “The truth is, a habit must be established before it can be improved. If you can’t learn the basic skill of showing up, then you have little hope of mastering the finer details.”
Jordan Peterson elaborates on why something is better than nothing in his short guide to the Essay writing app he created with Julian Peterson, his son.
“Most people fail a class or an assignment or a work project not because they write badly, and get D’s or F’s, but because they don’t write at all, and get zeroes. …
Essays handed in, no matter how badly written, can usually get you at least a C.
So don’t be completely self-destructive. Hand something in, regardless of how pathetic you think it is.”
The next obstacle to tackle will be how to measure my progress and if I’m really sticking with it. Times flies by and without some way to track progress, it’s hard to tell if any difference is being made.
I’m often surprised when opening up my journal to see that a week or two has passed without writing a word when in my mind it feels as if only a few days had gone by. That’s why tracking is so important.
This month, I’m going to use the simple bullet journal method. I have a page for any habits I’m tracking and I’ll put an X over every day when I accomplish my goal. That way, at the end of the month I’ll be able to see how many days I really kept to the goal I was working on.
This month’s goal is something simple, easy and healthy that I believe I can incorporate into any day – stretching.
Especially after training to run a marathon earlier this year, I noticed my muscles getting extremely tight and my flexibility noticeably decreasing. I’m sure this was due to a lack of proper stretching before and after runs and in general. So, this month I want to work on stretching more.
I’m going to follow along to the same stretching routine every day so that I can better judge how much improvement that I’ve made and take weekly pictures of my progress.
It can be difficult at times to feel as if I’m getting better at any goal when the gains every day are so minuscule. But taking pictures and comparing over time really helps to highlight the small wins.
You’re going to cringe in second-hand embarrassment from me posting the following cliché quote, brace yourself. A wise man once said: “Don’t be afraid to start over again. This time, you’re not starting from scratch, you’re starting from experience.” But it’s true! I’ve started over, …
A Nudge in the Right Direction A kind friend recently helped to change my perspective with a little nudge in the right direction. He told me to stop thinking of myself as a negative person. “Everyone has negative thoughts and feelings at times, but it …
What could break the bond between two sisters? Theoretically, the correct answer is nothing. Though, in reality, even the toughest substances can be worn down over time. Even pavement forms alligator cracks eventually, as small streams of water seep into micro openings, the water freezes, expands, and breaks the cement.
For my sister and I, time and distance, secrets and malice have done their work. It’s subtle ‘til it isn’t. Until some heavy lifting and repair is needed.
Now, driving into the City of Bridges, I’m hoping to keep building another one – one between my sister and me.
You see, sometimes family is easy. You can fall apart and fall back together again with ease.
But sometimes family is hard. Sometimes falling back together means falling back into negative patterns and reinforcing them over and over and over. The presumption of ease leads to neglect and false assumptions. “She’ll always be there for me” leads to “I’m too busy to call.”
Still, we try. Reaching for something that once was and yet something altogether new, something more complete.
Because now we’re adults and we have our own lives and aspirations. But, when we’re together, we’re still just little kids sneaking downstairs to gather supplies for our “Sister Sleepover Party” at 11:00 pm. Giggly with the adrenaline of staying up late. Giddy with the delusion that mom and dad can’t hear us from the room 10 feet away.
Reaching out my hand and patiently waiting for my sister to grasp it. Because I don’t want to disappoint her again.
I pick her up, hazard lights flashing as I slowly pull up to the entrance to her dorm room, and she directs me to the local grocery store.
I’m happy to be useful, shuttling her somewhere like I used to when she was in middle school and couldn’t yet drive. When we would blast Z100 and sing along to all the songs, taking circles around the block just to finish listening to the latest hit by Bruno Mars.
She has a more developed taste in music now. Whatever random station I found on the radio doesn’t do her ears justice. So, she hooks up her phone to the aux and turns on her tunes. We get to talking and she hands me a pumpkin spiced doughnut from the Farmer’s Market that morning. And things are just like they were, but somehow slightly more delicate.
Still, I try.
Because a big sister needs a little.
Because in my darkest hours, I think of my sister, and she gives me strength.
Following my 1-year old baby cousin around the house, we open and close the cabinets. A click signals the release of the magnet that keeps the door latched. The door swings open, guided by a bundle of pudgy little fingers. Not yet sure of himself, …
Such anticipation. Bubbling up and simmering down in the pit of my being. That tiny light blue-lined notecard keeps me on track, distracting me from the distractions lining the wall of my skull, zipping around, my own personal electromechanical ticker. All that I hope and …
The month of July, it’s back to basics with an exercise routine. After two months of implementing other key-stone habits and comparing that to my monthly projects last year, I believe that exercise is the one that has the most impact in my life.
After a month of consistent exercise last May I felt re-energized, happier, and more productive. After two months of the smaller habits of making my bed and tracking my eating, I have felt small improvements but it’s nothing compared to the change I felt before. So, I’m excited to start an exercise routine again.
With gyms still closed where I live, it will be a bit more difficult this year. But I ordered some resistance bands and have a training plan that I plan to follow so I think it’s definitely doable.
I want to get in the habit of waking up an hour earlier to do my exercise so that I don’t have to worry about fitting it in or pushing it off until the end of the day or the next day that never comes. But the biggest goal is just to do resistance training four days a week and light cardio the other two or three days.
If you’re interested in the plan I’m following, it’s the At Home Training program by Stephanie Buttermore. Good luck with all your gains!
Food journaling is easy, but finding out what your journal says about your eating habits and how to change them is a bit trickier. Find out how from this post on Gaining Deeper Insights from Food Journaling.